YOU MIGHT BE A BUBBA IF...
| We've been gathering these little tidbits from folks all over the world for years.
If you know of any more good ones that aren't on this list, please drop a note in the mailbox..
- You know how may bales of hay your wifes car will hold.
- Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
- All of your four letter words have two syllables
- You think that 10-12 lbs on the side of the pampers box means the capacity.
- You have more than one first name.
- You've ever flipped your riding lawnmower.
- Your kids have 3-day-old Kool-Aid stains.
- You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
- You know all about cow-tipping
- Your house has wheels and your cars don't.
- Your front porch collapses and you kill more than six dogs.
- You have ever used lard in bed.
- You think potted meat and saltines is an hors-d'oeuvre.
- You considered a six pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainmet.
- Less than half of the cars you own run.
- Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass.
- The primary color of your car is bondo.
- You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tounge gestures.
- Your family tree doesn't fork.
- Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
- You have ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba" at a piano recital.
- Your mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
- You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
- The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas tree lights.
- You regularly answer the question, "What have you been doing lately?" with "Partying"
- Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
- The rear tires of your car are twice as wide as the front ones.
- You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
- You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
- The diploma hanging in you den includes the words, "Trucking Institute".
- Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
- You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
- You think Dom Perignon is a "Mafia Leader".
- The most common phrase heard at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at shithead?"
- You think beef jerky and moon pies are two major food groups.
- You think Campo-Phenique is a miracle drug.
- You have more than two brothers named Bubba and Junior.
- Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the Lube Rack.
- You think Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
- You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
- You've been too drunk to fish.
- You have a rag for a gas cap.
- You had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures were taken.
- You've ever used a weed eater indoors.
- Your life time goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- Your bicycle has a gun rack.
- You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
- You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.
- Your Junior-Senior Prom has a day care center.